if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
