It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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