What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
