I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
