last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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