The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
