What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
