Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
