Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Green mimosas i think yes
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
