"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
