girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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