Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize