Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my sisters under your porch take her home
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
