my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
