Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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