this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
