i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
