I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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