can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
