I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
