i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
