I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
