smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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