I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
