sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
