I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
