eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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