I feel like abortions should bother me more
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
