My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
