Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize