So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
