It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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