I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
