She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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