Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
