In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
