The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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