what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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