my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
