the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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