Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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