You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
