Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize