You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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