just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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