his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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