How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
