lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
