She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
