Yo dont text me then not text me
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize