I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
