lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
