Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Is Oprah even human
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
