If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
