I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize