Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
